Thy Will Be Done - Part Three
My heart is breaking.
Only these words stick as I type, delete, type, delete, cry, type, pause, delete. I can't focus - nothing eloquently dictates this nostalgic bereavement and hopeful alacrity fiercely composing in my soul. A composition I am more than happy to entertain rather than the great post-grad unknown. Yet despite the relief of a knowing future, the time has arrived to bid farewell of my past.
I left Texas to move to Seattle. Before commencing my tenure with University of Washington's Master in Human-Computer Interaction + Design program (well, that was a mouthful), I wanted to familiarize and settle into this new world. A world of trees, hills, lakes, public transportation, and conservationists. I left to become one of the best, innovative, and respected User Experience Designers in the world. A dream sculpted by the twists and turns of life and prayer. But in this pursuit, I left behind my family, my best friends, a good community, and my world of highways, cheap gas, parking spots, Shiner, and conservatives. I left.
Give me time and I will adapt, but right now - right this moment, I need to cry. I need to lament the end of this chapter. Before I acclimate to the beautiful mountains, liberal society, and multitude of coffee shops; before new friendships, inside jokes, awkward dates, happy dancing, and girl talk, I need to mourn. Because the woman I am will no longer exist, she will transcend into something else entirely. For I am on the precipice of great change, and I can only pray for God to guide me in this new journey. After all, He led me to this point in the first place.
Whatever this new chapter brings, I trust myself to handle it with grace and love, and to live purposefully with Christ by my side. And it seems, I'm becoming more and more the woman I aspire to be.
That brutal pounding ache is now, but a subtle murr. Slowly sputtering out. And I am reminded to take this beautiful city all in. After all my travels around the world, who knew that this would be the great adventure of my life? (And within less than a week, I located a bar that sells Shiner so I think I'm gonna be okay.)
Texas is my heart, but Seattle is my future.